Hating your body 101

My name is Lei and I'm fat. There, I said it. I'm about 80 lbs overweight, according to my BMI (body mass index). I have cellulite from my waist to my knees, stretch marks on my tummy, and at least 3 chins. I have 2 beautiful children whom I love more than anyone or anything in this world. But I have to blame them partially for the way I look.
Now before you go off on me for blaming my kids, let me reiterate - I said I blame them partially, not completely. I didn't have stretch marks before I had them. Okay that's a lie. But I didn't have them as badly as I have them now, that's for certain. My tummy and boobs weren't as saggy before I had kids. But if stretch marks and sagging are what it took to bring my babies into the world, so be it. I have no regrets there.
My goal with this blog is to obtain something of a following and to give people a woman (me) who is completely honest about the woes that entail the life of a fat woman. I want to let everyone know that there is one among them who admits she's got problems, attempts to fix them, wants to be beautiful and slim and hot again, but isn't. Not yet anyway. This won't be about dieting (that's not the plan, anyway...) or about exercising or about weight loss. It is all about my journey to find ways to accept the things about me that I currently hate.
I know I called the blog "How To Hate Yourself," and that may make people think I hate myself. I don't. I love my life, for the most part. There are things about myself that I hate (don't we all have those things?), but I love myself. The reason I called it that was twofold: primarily because I couldn't think of another title that wasn't already taken, and secondarily, because the methods I use will either make you love yourself more, or they will have the complete opposite effect.
If you hate something about yourself for reasons that have to do with emotions, or really any reason other than that you hate your fat body, I probably can't help you. I'm not a shrink, although they have been close friends of mine at times, and I can't help your with any emotional despair you may be feeling. there are people who can help you with that and you should definitely seek help. But that help is not me. All I can do is give MY opinion and the methods I used and still use to cope with the things I hate about myself.
These are not drastic methods, and they are not proven. But they are things I do every day to boost my self-esteem a little. I find new things every day, too, and sometimes they contradict other things I did before. No, this is nothing ground-breaking. But what I do hope it is, is a safe haven of sorts to those out there who think they must look a certain size, wear certain clothes, or drive certain cars in order to be considered hot and sexy.
I want to be me, and I want to be sexy. I want those things to be one and the same. I want to have my completely unique style, wear my makeup however I want, do my hair any fashion that pleases me, and be completely sexy in my own trademark way.
Everyone has a style. Don't let anyone tell you it's not in style. You're style is always in style because you are always you.
I will post my first lesson tomorrow. Thanks for reading, and please tell your friends. I am passionate about this message, and I would love to inspire as many people as I can. Thank you.